Many celebrities, both national and international, have opted for the surrogacy to have a child. Kim Kardashian, Amber Heard, Kiko Hernández, Tamara Gorro, Jaime Cantizano, Cristiano Ronaldo, Miguel Poveda are some of them. Normally everyone talks about how beautiful the experience has been, about the nerves during the arrival. Others, like Quique Peinado ‘Torito’, chose to criticize programs from their own group, Mediaset, because they did not like the approach given to this type of birth. But until now no one had opened the channel with the same sincerity as the actress Gabrielle Union has shown in a magazine article Time, recognizing that behind her surrogacy hides a harsh truth.
A story that you think you need to make public, now that you have learned to “be honest and loving at the same time”.
The 48-year-old actress, known for her work on Two rebel policemen II or the series LA’s Finest: Los Angeles Cops (available on Netflix), note that was diagnosed with adenomyosis, a problem that occurs when the tissue that normally lines the uterus develops into the muscle wall. To solve it, many women agree to a hysterectomy or removal of the uterus, which prevents them from being a mother by traditional methods.
Until then, Gabrielle Union had suffered about ten miscarriages, and it was her own doctor who in 2016 recommended that she opt for surrogacy to have a healthy child. However, it was not what he expected to hear. I was not ready to take that step since I craved live the experience of being pregnant, of feeling the baby growing, moving, inside you. “I wanted the experience […] See my body expand and change to accommodate this miracle ” he confesses in his essay. And in order to get that dream, she even took a very strong drug called Lupron that would increase her chances of giving birth by 30%, but with serious side effects such as early menopause and bone weakening.
But her husband, the former basketball player Dwyane Wade, told her that she had done enough, and that continuing to put her health at risk would work against the relationship. “We have lost too much in our relationship to feel good supporting you to do something else to your body and soul ” her husband told her, and it was then that she accepted the recommended alternative of opting for a surrogate belly.
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However, the experience of surrogacy filled Gabrielle with doubts and fears, experiencing negative consequences throughout the pregnancy. For example, he recognizes that when he learned that Natalie (the pregnant woman) was pregnant and saw her belly in a medical appointment at the end of the first trimester, he felt that he was seeing “A visual manifestation of my failure”. He tried to be strong and happy, but in reality, he felt “Useless”.
The actress insists on the pain suffered by a woman who experiences the inability to achieve a pregnancy during this type of experience, recounting how she had to stifle crying when her husband happily held her hand while they attended the ultrasound that revealed the sex of the baby. Gabrielle couldn’t forget all the miscarriages she had suffered and that monitor made her see how many babies she had not had. Everything he had suffered until he got there. His fear was such that He didn’t even dare to tell his friends that they were going to be parents; the memory of so many abortions haunted him. Dwyane, who already had three children from other relationships, did give off confidence and enthusiasm.
The girl, Kaavia James, was finally born in November 2018, a few weeks ahead of schedule and after more than 38 hours of delivery; the surrogate mother had to be asked an emergency cesarean section because the little girl came with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck.
But with the arrival, Gabrielle felt all kinds of emotions: from “relief, anxiety, terror, joy, resentment, disbelief, gratitude … and also, disconnection”, Realizing that he wanted to live that moment together. With her husband, the girl, Natalie and her husband, discovering that they had all been part of creation.
Time passed and the experience became the greatest gift of his life. This is how he described it in his book published in 2019, We’re going to need more wine: “She brings us all the joy we could have imagined, but with an extra layer. She represents dreams come true. […] It is the living embodiment of not giving up. I never thought this little girl could represent so much. “
For the actress, telling this story was important because she believes in the need to tell the truths that she lives, sharing with the world that her motherhood has not been a bed of roses. That even at the moment of something as beautiful as the next arrival of a baby, a surrogate mother can become your worst enemy.
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Gabrielle Union recounts the drama of her surrogate motherhood