Michelle Dockery, from ‘Downton Abbey’, breaks her silence on the death of her boyfriend | People

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“I consider myself a widow”, that’s how resounding actress Michelle Dockery has been, star of the famous British series Downton Abbey, about the death of her boyfriend John Dineen, who died of cancer at the age of 34 in December 2015. The 35-year-old actress has given an interview to the newspaper The Guardian, in which he talks for the first time about what he lived through at that devastating moment in his life.

“I have no words to describe what I felt. What it still feels like ”, that’s how she begins to talk about the experience of losing her fiancé. And as soon as she does, she is forced to apologize to her interviewer by asking for a minute. A long, silent minute you need to compose yourself and hold back your tears. “I have never been more committed to anything in my life than to him. At that moment everything went out. Everything, ”he remembers. “The work didn’t matter. Suddenly you become an expert [en oncología]. That becomes your world and that was, of course, my priority, ”explains Dockery.

Actress Michelle Dockery and her boyfriend, John Dineen, out and about in London in 2013.Getty

The actress who moved with her character of Lady Mary Crawley in Downton Abbey He had a liberating moment as he unleashed feelings that he had not publicly explained until now. “Even when the prognosis became terminal, I never lost hope,” he adds in the interview. “I am not exaggerating if I say that John did not complain once, not once, and that gave us strength. That positivity is what keeps you going: never give up hope of a miracle. I couldn’t have done it any other way.” , keep saying.

Her other priority then was keeping her boyfriend’s illness in the realm of intimacy. “John was a person very jealous of his privacy,” says the actress now, “and what was most difficult was keeping this issue out of the press during his illness.” Dockery had to abandon the play he was starring in at the time and he did so without giving public explanations, but he confesses that one of the things that was most difficult for him at that time was the parallelism that he lived in reality with what happened to the character of Lady Mary, who lost her husband in an accident during World War I, at a time when being a young widow was anything but unusual. However, when Michelle Dockery had to assume the death of her partner at the age of 33, the situation was not the same, now not so many young women could understand what she was going through.

“I don’t expect anyone to understand. In that year I spent more time in hospitals than some people in their entire lives. I would not wish or expect anyone to know what that is. After losing Dineen, you see things differently, “he tells the British publication in a low and still sorrowful voice. And adds. “We were engaged and married in heart, so I refer to myself as a widow.”

Miehelle Dockery, featured in the miniseries 'Godless'.
Miehelle Dockery, featured in the miniseries ‘Godless’.

In addition to her character in the period series that made her famous, that loss situation has haunted her in Godless, another production that has interpreted for Netflix and that will be released later this month. In it, he plays a young woman who must face running a ranch alone after being widowed twice at the age of 21. A bad fortune that makes the community in which she lives, the label of witch.

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Michelle Dockery, from ‘Downton Abbey’, breaks her silence on the death of her boyfriend | People